tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7703874534006734552.post5830277499906487202..comments2023-06-18T08:53:11.313-07:00Comments on Graceful Discipline: Ministry of Reconciliation?Maggie Sierdsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05983334407950701929noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7703874534006734552.post-36454072997192155962009-08-27T03:43:01.843-07:002009-08-27T03:43:01.843-07:00Tough questions, and ones I can relate to! I'...Tough questions, and ones I can relate to! I've learned a lot from the Boundaries and Safe People books (Cloud and Townsend) in these areas - not that I have it down yet. My thought, though, is that yes, it is acceptable for Christians to "give up" on certain relationships, even family. <br /><br />It seems to me that this is one area where balance is needed. There's such a thing as taking reconciliation too far - such as a battered wife not protecting herself and her children, for instance. (See "Don't cast your pearls before swine" and "<b>as much as lies with you</b> live in peace with all men") Then again, there's such a thing as protecting ourselves with walls so much that no relationship can take place. The verse in 2 Corinthians 5 about the ministry of reconciliation is talking about our role as ambassadors to reconcile people to God through Christ, not about individual realtionships. <br /><br />What I learned from Boundaries is that it's o.k., and necessary, to have walls; but you also need a gate in your walls that you can use to choose who, and what, is allowed in. <br /><br />One thing I've learned is not to expect people to change, and to accept them as the wounded and broken people they are, while protecting myself as necessary. Sometimes when I'm feeling fragile and insecure, I have to keep the gate closed to protect my heart. Other times, I'm feeling confident of who I am in Christ, I'm learning to enjoy the good parts of a wobbly relationship, and put the rest in an imaginary basket instead of letting it get to my heart. And the hardest part - setting boundaries on hurtful behaviors, risking conflict and being willing to remove myself from the situation if necessary. <br /><br />I don't think either stuffing the past or dredging up the past are ideal solutions. Stuffing leads to ulcers and cancer, and dredging it up one at a time may not be fair, or loving. Acknowledging and forgiving the past (not forgetting!) and then starting fresh with good, communicated boundaries seems like a healthier option. <br /> <br />- your oldest cousin :-)MamaThairishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07338793952909722951noreply@blogger.com