Monday, July 20, 2009

Some disciplines come easier than others

I'd say that study is the discipline that comes most naturally to me. I like to research, think critically, learn and ponder, and I was doing it even before I knew it was a spiritual discipline that I'm "supposed to" do.

Meditation and prayer may not come as naturally, but are fairly comfortable once I get started as long as I remember that there's not necessarily a "right" way to do them.

But fasting? THAT is hard for me. Almost unthinkable. I have to confess, the whole time I was reading the chapter on fasting, I was looking for a loophole. Do I really have to stop eating or give anything up? I'm breastfeeding, so I don't really have to add fasting to my spiritual life, right? It's not an actual COMMAND, so I'm not a bad Christian if I don't do it, right?

God, I confess that although Jesus said, "WHEN you fast rather than IF you fast," I have a stubborn and rebellious heart and greedy body that can't bear to think about deprivation. Even the thought of a partial fast or restricted diet is hard for me. You know that even though I'm pretty severely lactose intolerant, I still am known to consume dairy products or dishes with milk in them and just deal with the consequences. If you want me to fast, please give me the desire, conviction and discipline to do so. Amen.

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