|This picture illustrates the stand-off created by blame. Focus instead on solutions.|
"I see two children who both want the pink dolly."
"You want to stay and play. I need to get home so we can make dinner for Daddy."
"How can we solve this problem?"
"Let's put our heads together and think of ideas that might work."
"This is a tricky situation. I'm confident that the two of you can think of a solution that will work."
Parent: "You want to stay and play. I need to get home so we can make dinner for Daddy. How can we solve this problem?"
Child: "We could ask Daddy to bring food from a restaurant to the park and have a picnic!"
Parent: "What else could we do?"
Child: "We could stay longer and get food from a restaurant on the way home."
Parent: "Let's save going to a restaurant for another day. Here's my idea: We could stay for five more minutes to give you time to say goodbye to the park."
Child: "I could stay at the park by myself! You go home to make dinner and I'll walk home when I'm finished playing."
Parent: "I don't feel comfortable with you walking home alone. I can see you really don't want to stop playing. How about we turn leaving the park into a game? We could have a race to see who can make it to our front door fastest."
Child: "We could play cops and robbers and pretend we're chasing the bad guys!"
Parent: "Let's go!"
|This picture illustrates the family cooperating together on problem solving.|