Lazy Days of Summer

I've sat down here several different times this week, meaning to write another post.  I had so many ideas for topics:

• Our (still ongoing) journey to diagnosis for our daughter (ADHD and likely autism spectrum disorder)
• The humbling experience of learning to guide my four year old son's exuberant and sometimes aggressive personality
• What brought my husband and I to marriage counseling, and its benefits
• How reexamining everything post-transplant affected my parenting style
• Why we have embraced Connected Families four messages for our family
• What I've learned this summer about handling sibling conflict

And I would sit here and type and erase a few sentences, and then a child would climb on my lap for snuggles or invite me to play or ask me to get them something, and I would persist a little longer in trying to write and ask them to be patient.  A few more sentences typed and erased, and an urgent situation would arise needing my attention (sibling squabbles, messes in the making) and that would be the end of my effort.

Yesterday I sat down at my computer three different times fully intending to not get up until I had written something.  And three times I got up again with nothing to show for it.

I did however, have a chance to do my Armor of God Bible study.  This week's focus is on the Helmet of Salvation, which is put on by applying the truth of God's word and the reality of the full implications of my salvation to my thinking.

And as I considered my answers to Priscilla's questions and soaked in the Word, I began to be convicted of my lack of diligence in the study of God's word.

God reaffirmed this conviction when this post on motherhood and quiet times popped up on my Facebook feed.

The Spirit continued to reshape my thinking as I listened to God's word on the radio in the car and reflected on what I had been learning.

Wednesday I read an email from Organized by Choice that talked about two toxic words, "for now." When you just put something somewhere temporarily because you either don't want to do the work right then or don't want to make the decision related to it right then.

This week I have been working a little each day on transforming our spare room from the designated junk hiding spot into a welcoming place for our exchange student Anna to rest and study.  The state of that room when I started was a vivid illustration of the consequences of those two words in my life!

The conviction of the Spirit opened my eyes to see where lack of diligence has affected other areas of my life.

Lack of diligence ... isn't that just a nice way of saying lazy?

Lazy, sluggard, slothful... those are some ugly words.  Do they really apply to me?  Are there areas where I've let my limits and circumstances become an excuse and permission to do less than I am truly able to do?  In my household and mothering, am I working heartily as unto the Lord, or am I doing the bare minimum, looking for shortcuts that seem to save time and energy in the short term but really cause more problems in the long run?

God has a sense of humor, it is often said.

This morning I was up before the rest of my family.  It's a quiet Saturday morning and I was tempted to just browse the internet or play a game on my phone instead of getting started on the tasks of the day.  Thinking of what I have learned this week about diligence, I decided to work on tidying the kitchen instead.  I did grab my phone and look up the latest Truth for Life podcast to listen to while I was working.

Alistair Begg's topic of the day?

Laziness.

While thinking about this topic I googled "chronic illness sluggard" hoping for a Christian perspective on the tension I find myself in.  I'll leave this post with a quote from MockingBirdBaby.net's post, "Work Heartily"

Now don’t get me wrong; there is great value in rest. God, himself, rested on the 7th day when creating our universe for crying out loud! He speaks often of the importance of rest and commands us to Shabbat, but that time of Sabbath is to spend with Him. With my fibromyalgia and dysautonomia doctors are always warning me to take it easy. The challenge here is to recognize when resting is no longer resting but slothfulness. Prayerfully consider where this line is for you, and if you also struggle with a chronic illness to be gracious to yourself.

I will definitely continue to pray for discernment of where that line is.