Elopement

Eloping 

Wandering

Bolting

Running away

It's a topic hard to write about, hard to talk about. Shame and fear both hang thick and heavy around the subjects for me.

At various times over the years, all three of my kids have left my side at church, at the grocery store, at Costco, at the mall, at the air museum, at the beach, and at multiple fairs, carnivals and amusement parks. It happens when I am alone with them.  It happens even when I have other adults with me. 

Shame tells me I'm a terrible parent. Logic tells me it takes half a second for a kid, even neurotypical kids, to slip off. It has happened to even the best parent at some point or another. It’s biologically impossible to be alert every single second.

 

When one of my kids takes off, I try to stay calm, keep my wits about me. I push down the panic of what if because I know it isn't helpful in the moment. I can put myself in their shoes and think about where they most likely went.

So given that I have three kids, each with their own history of eloping, am I foolish to even risk going out in public with them in the first place? 

Just stay home and keep them safe. Sounds like a plan.

But they have eloped from home too. The child-proof locks are only child proof until they figure them out or a way around them. At some point, one child needed attention and the other takes the opportunity to impulsively take off. Sometimes we need to open our doors, and sometimes that is all the opening they needed to escape.  

Am I doing the best I can? Yes.

Am I able to be vigilant enough to prevent most of their elopements? Yes. 

Can I prevent all of them? History proves that no, I can't. 

So, prevention is an incomplete solution. 

Equipping them with safety skills fills in some of the gap. 

In some settings, that means providing them with a safe spot to go to when they motive is to escape a situation. In community settings, it means that I have made sure that my kids know my phone number. They know their address. They know how to use crosswalks and other basic pedestrian safety rules. They know what kind of people to ask for help, and so far, they have been cooperative with those who offer help. 

I'm grateful to each and every person who has looked out for my kids, and most of all, I'm thankful for the grace and sovereignty of God who has ultimately kept them safe.