Kind AND Firm, Backbone, Authoritative ...

... these are all different words to describe the style of parenting I am going for. Gentle or Grace-based discipline doesn't mean that I am a marshmallow or that anything goes. My job is to guide and teach proper behavior and rebuke and correct gently when misbehavior occurs. My belief remains that this task of can be accomplished without resorting to any hitting whatsoever, and using primarily positive discipline techniques rather than punishments. My husband basically agrees with me but wants to keep spanking in reserve just in case we might need it at some point.

This article from the Globe and Mail nicely summarizes the three styles, with the main emphasis on the dangers of being too permissive.